Many professionals that work with teens and young adults are familiar with Joseph Campbell’s , “The Hero’s Journey.” If you are not familiar with it, it is worth your time and personal reflection. I know a pivotal moment in my life was talking with someone about the Hero’s Journey ; they referenced how “the call to adventure” happens when we have been climbing a ladder to realize it was against the wrong wall. Wow! That was such a moment of clarity for me at the time.
For those of you that are familiar, and I am simplifying greatly, we get a “call to adventure,” we cross the threshold into something new/different/difficult, we learn things about ourselves and discover something that changes our lives and then we return home with those new discoveries. This also describes the treatment journey for many families—the hope is that through crossing the threshold into the treatment process, individuals will learn things about themselves that will allow them to reunite at home together, changed.
Since learning about the Hero’s Journey, I have discussed it countless times with both teens/young adults and also with parents. Teens and young adults seem to really engage with and see themselves within the cycle of the hero’s journey. I find for parents, it is still so very helpful, yet harder for them—they tend to see it via their child’s journey vs where they are at as parents. There is no greater call to adventure in my opinion than raising a child through challenging times. As a parent & family coach at Elevate, I witness so many parents express all the values and behavior they want to teach their teen/young adult, but usually pause when I ask them what values and behaviors is your teen/young adult trying to teach you. Often we might not realize that some acting out behaviors with our kids can often times be our ‘call to adventure’ as parents. Sometimes the call to adventure is noticing not just how often my child is on technology, but also starting to notice how often I am on technology around them. This is just one of many ways that the Hero’s Journey can offer something special to parents.
So what is the Hero’s Journey 2.0? People will often ask after one goes through the cycle of the journey, ‘what is next?’ Some will say the cycle merely continues again and again in other areas of one’s life. As lovely as that sounds, I have experienced families going through what I call a Hero’s Journey 2.0 experience. In supporting families over the past 4 years in the transition to home, I see there is so much more than just ‘returning home’. Even many stories and movies end with ‘they lived happily ever after’. If anything, it has been my experience that returning home is where the story actually starts!
Let us imagine for a moment a teen/young adult struggling with substance use. Treatment can do so many things to help them learn how to address the substance use and develop a recovery & relapse prevention plan. As important as those processes are, the unexpected running into your dealer or realizing your bedroom or car or bathroom has a huge memory correlated to using substances, can be unanticipated triggers that require a new investment in personal growth . The same can be true for teens/young adults with depressive episodes/self-harm and anxiety/OCD. Often times, social situations for teens/young adults with neurodiversity can be nearly impossible to navigate, especially because even the best social tools practiced in treatment can be challenging to enact in the real world.. As you can begin to see, the insights to treatment and the hero’s journey really hits a 2.0 experience when they are asked to do these things at home.
So what can we learn about the Hero’s Journey 2.0? Knowing that there are going to be a lot of expected and unexpected challenges upon returning home, and after a plan/home agreement to address the expected areas of challenge have been completed, it is helpful to focus less on the details and more on the skills for handling the unexpected—skills for both parents and their teens/young adults. The skills of 1) asking for help, 2) courage to redo/repair, and 3) learning how to adapt, improvise, or overcome, can really make the difference in the success in the return home. At Elevate, we are consistently encouraging these skills and many more so that teens/young adults and their families will learn to do these things on their own. It is helpful to know that if I hit an unexpected difficulty that it is OK and encouraged to ask for help, that my family and friends will have some grace with me to redo or repair a poor interaction on my part—without it leading to shame or defensiveness, or that I have the ability to adapt and modify the skills needed to fit the particular situation.
This can also be so true for parents in this process as well. Parents knowing when to reach out for help, naming it with their teen/young adult when they ‘don’t get it right’ and try again, or for parents to know when to listen longer or when to modify a consequence so that it can be more effective or meaningful. With parents and the teen/young adult each having their specialized coach, we can make sure the skills and abilities mentioned above can be taught, practiced, and celebrated for all family members.
The return home can sound like such an easy part to the Hero’s Journey, but in reality, the family system will benefit as much if not more, to have support during this crucial time to ensure the discoveries made in treatment can be applied appropriately for the situations at home, and that additional skills and abilities can be supported as well.
